What if you did away with the idea of talking me into buying?
What if you let go of any assumptions you have about me?
What if you started by understanding me instead of persuading me?
What if you were open to the idea that I might be able to make progress without you?
What if you stopped trying to change my mind?
What if you had zero expectations when you reached out to me?
What would that do to your mental state?
What effect would that have on building trust?
Somewhere along the way, you became assumptive.
You started assuming everyone needed what you were selling.
You began asked leading questions to elicit a desired response.
You refused to take no for an answer.
Assuming you’re for everyone sets in motion pushy behaviors. Like bumping emails to the top of my inbox. Can you please bump it back down?
Whenever I feel the push, I pull away. So do you. So does everyone.
Assuming you’re for everyone makes you anxious because you attach your self-worth to the outcome (extrinsic reward). When you don’t get what you expected, you feel rejected.
I’m not rejecting you.
I’m rejecting what you said.
However, when you let go of having expectations, you create a safe space where I feel comfortable having an honest conversation with you because I don’t feel sold or manipulated.
Ask me a question that shines a light on a problem I’m not aware of.
Motivate me to do the talking.
Then let me come to my own conclusion.
Sort me, don’t sell me.