A common cold email mistake is vague copy.
Here’s an example:
“Hey Jim, we help fleet managers reduce costs with our world-class fleet management platform.
I wanted to learn what your initiatives are in this area and show you what we’re working on.
Are you available for a brief call at 3 or 4 EST Friday?”
Vague means your email is lacking detail. When you’re vague you’re a white circle in a sea of white circles because you’re using the same words as everyone else.
Here are vague words:
Best
Great
Add value
Deliver ROI
Maximize return
Optimize
State of the art
Scalable
Accelerate growth
Increase sales
World-class
Here’s a crispy or more specific version of the same email:
“Hey Oliver, I read about your fleet of 23,500 in the EU and your goal of reaching zero-emission by 2025. DHL is reducing fuel consumption by 13% across their grey fleet – idling is down to 18 min/day from 1.2hrs. No rush, but are you open to learning how they did it?”
When you’re crispy, your prospect subconsciously thinks, “You get me, let’s read the next sentence.”
Crispy copy is believable. It’s a red X.
Vague copy isn’t. It’s a white circle.
Be crispy.