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cold emailFrom Joshbraun

A Cold Email I Didn’t Delete

By December 16, 2015 2 Comments

Dwayne Lutchman, an Account Executive at Ideal Candidate, got my attention with the email below.  

You can steal this email immediately, but that’s not the most valuable thing about it.  It’s the “teardown”–the psychology of why the email is effective–that will help you craft the best email for your audience.  

Subject: Congrats on the “50 on Fire” Award From Chicago Inno!

Hey Josh,

Hope all is well. Just saw your publication on Chicago Inno’s “50 on Fire.” Congrats! This is quite an achievement.  I’m sure you and your team are very proud.

Typically after such publications, companies grow their work force, particularly their sales department.

Customers in the Chicago area such as CDW, Heartland Payment Systems, sales-i, etc. have adopted the Ideal Candidate platform when hiring sales reps.

If you want to reduce your time to hire by 32% (as opposed to job boards or recruiters), but also in a cost effective manner, then we can help.

Do you have 5 mins to spare to learn more?

Best,

Dwayne

THE TEARDOWN

Why This Works

  1. Acknowledgement.  The subject line makes me feel loved.  People love to feel acknowledged.
  2. Relevant.  The copy quickly provides a relevant reason for the outreach along with an insight (typically after such publications, companies grow their workforce).  Yup, that’s us.
  3. Value-based.  “Reduce your time to hire by 32%.
  4. Social proof. “CDW, Heartland Payment Systems, sales-i, etc. have adopted the Ideal Candidate platform when hiring sales reps.

What Would Make This Email Kick Even More Ass

  1. Move the value statement (32%) to the third paragraph rather than the fourth.  I want to know about the benefits before the social proof.
  2. 5 minutes doesn’t feel like enough time.  If  you can help me improve my business, then YOU’RE THE PRIZE.  If you can help me kick more ass, I’ll give you 30 minutes.
  3. Provide a few times to chat or a link to a scheduling tool.
  4. With regards to social proof,  include customers that are more like me.  Not just Chicago companies, but Chicago SaaS companies with an inside sales team.
  5. Follow up.  I never received a phone call or a follow up email.  It typically takes 4-5 touches to capture interest.
Josh Braun

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