something strange happens when salespeople write cold emails.
They use words they’d never say to someone over coffee.
They “personally reach out to understand what innovation means to your business.”
And “leverage customer success.”
Or “offer end-to-end innovative solutions.”
Do you know anyone who talks like that?
You don’t feel anything after reading vague words..
When you’re vague you’re a white circle in a sea of white circles because you’re using the same words as everyone else.
Why does this happen?
I think it’s because we forget that prospects are people.
Not “ideal customer profiles”, “personas” or “TAMs”.
People with jobs to be done.
What’s the way out?
Using customer quotes in your cold emails is one of the best ways to sound like you’re a person because well, a real person actually said it.
Original vague copy:
“We offer enterprise services to give organizations the turnkey podcast production services they need.
Revised crispy copy:
“What podcast hosts hate is editing – stuff like removing “ums” and “ahs” adjusting EQ levels, creating show notes, etc.
“A system for optimizing dynamic customer flow.”
“Software to drive more sales.”
“Because VM uses groundbreaking technology you don’t have to recharge the device. Nor does the device require batters.
“No charging. No batteries.”
“ACME ice cream that’s easier to digest for people that get upset stomachs from dairy.”
“Ice cream …but easier to digest.”
Read your email out loud. Does it pass the coffee test?