Waiting for My Turn

I was talking to a friend recently who mentioned he was thinking about leaving his job.

And almost immediately I started thinking about what I was going to say.

I had a similar experience years ago, and I figured sharing it might be helpful.

So while he was explaining what was going on, I was mentally putting together my little story.
Waiting for an opening.

Eventually he stopped talking and I jumped in.
Told him what happened to me, what I learned, what he might want to consider.
Pretty solid advice, if I do say so myself.

Except I never really found out why he wanted to leave.
Was it his boss? The work? Was he burned out? Was something going on at home?

I had no idea.

I was so busy preparing my response that I’d stopped paying attention to him.

I catch myself doing this more than I’d like.

Someone is talking and my brain starts composing. A story. A suggestion. A question.
It’s almost like I’m waiting for my turn instead of having a conversation.

I’ve been trying to get better at noticing this.

When I catch myself rehearsing, I try to come back to what the person is saying.

Sometimes that means just asking something simple like, “What happened that got you thinking about leaving?”
And then seeing where it goes.

I think this happens a lot in sales.

A prospect mentions something isn’t working, and before they’ve finished explaining, we’re already thinking about how our product solves it.

We’re listening for something we can respond to rather than trying to understand what’s going on.

And the prospect can usually feel the difference.

Try this:

Prospect: “Our reps don’t pick up the phone.”
You: “It’s like they think the phone is a cactus. What’s your theory on why that is?”

People don’t buy because they understand you.
They buy because you understand them.